Does your partner struggle to understand you during Pregnancy?

Send him this!

Dear Husband, 

On August 30th, our beautiful daughter was born. It has been a magical experience and I love how much you already grew into your role as a father. You have been a wonderful supporter not only during labor and postpartum but also during the entire pregnancy.

Although you always tried your best to be my side during those months and help me as much as possible, there have been a few moments where I felt misunderstood or even left alone.

I never had the courage to tell you or maybe I was just too stubborn to talk about it. Looking back, that has probably been a big mistake and a lot of our fights would have never taken place.

LET THE ANGRY WORD BE ANSWERED ONLY WITH A KISS. – THOMAS HILL

Since we are planning to have more Babies in the future, I want you to know about those things I never told you. The struggles, the guilt, and a load of emotions.

Pregnancy is one of the biggest blessings and I am so thankful that we were so lucky with our last one, but still, pregnancy is hard and sometimes drove me insane. 

So, I hope by writing this letter, you will be able to understand the struggles of being pregnant. I hope once you know about and truly understand the struggles, the next pregnancy will not only be easier for me, but also for yourself. 


1. CRAVINGS

Trust me, if there had been the slightest possibility to control my cravings, I would have. But there wasn’t.

If I asked you for some pasta with only hot sauce on it at 7 am in the morning, all I wanted was pasta. No toast, no oatmeal, no fruit. PASTA!

I know you only wanted me to eat healthily so not only I but also our daughter would get all the important nutrients we needed. But honestly, every time you just made me feel miserable and incapable of taking care of my own baby.

So please, in case I am having weird or even unhealthy cravings next time around, just let me eat that damn pasta.


2. BODY IMAGE

Carrying around those extra 50 lbs was soooo hard! Not only did every inch of my body hurt, but I also hated the way I looked. I felt so miserable and unattractive, all I wanted was to hide under my blanket and wait for the pregnancy to be over.

Deep in my heart, I knew you just wanted me to feel better by telling me the following things:

„Babe, it’s okay to be big while your pregnant.“
„Honey, you can lose the weight right after birth.”
„Why don’t you start eating healthy and go to the gym so you stop gaining so much?“

Of course, it is totally normal to gain weight. Sure, I can lose weight once the pregnancy is over. And yes, I could go to the gym… But honestly, all those sentences didn’t make me feel better, I felt even worse. You put so much more pressure on me without even knowing it.

Next time I feel miserable because of the immense weight gain, try to say the following things:

“My love, you are looking as beautiful as ever.“
“That pregnant belly suits you, you are a glowing.“
“I love you more every time I see you carrying around our daughter. You are so strong and a real warrior.“

If you are trying to keep the weight gain under control, check out this amazing YouTube Channel with a lot of pregnancy-safe workouts:


3. BODY CONTROL

Well, this one will be pretty short. We never really tried to hide from each other for every fart or closed the door every time we needed to pee before pregnancy.

BUT, let me tell you, all those sounds and smells.. it wasn’t me. The baby did all of those nasty things.

Let’s leave it like that. Sorry. 


4. HORMONES

Yep, the hormones. A pretty tuff one to explain.

Not every fight I started was reasonable, looking back, I knew that I was wrong during the entire argument. Would it stop me? No way. The hormones wanted me to fight and they wanted me to win that argument. That’s it.

So honey, please, I know it is a lot to ask for, just let me win that fight. You know I won’t stop until you tell me I am right, hug me, and say you love me. There would be much fewer tears and more time for more important things … like sleeping.

Also, sorry for all the unnecessary crying for the most ridiculous topics. Just a little tip for you: Don’t get angry with me, just give me a kiss on my forehead and a quick shoulder rub. I promise it will help and again, save us a lot of time. 


5. COMFORT

Pregnant women tend to complain A LOT. I did for sure. Especially in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I felt so uncomfortable every minute of the day. Walking, standing, sitting, or laying down, nothing helped.

You always tried to help by forcing me to go out for a walk, or offering me a pillow when I wasn’t able to sleep during the night. Sometimes, my love, I didn’t want you to fix anything, I just wanted you to hold me and tell me that everything would be over soon.

All I needed was a little comfort from you, not a logical solution to my problems. So next time I am complaining about anything, don’t get annoyed and treat it like a problem that needs to be fixed. Just hold me and show me some love and empathy.


To all husbands out there, you are doing a great job. Just keep those few things in mind. And to all the future mamas out there, try not to be too harsh on your hubbies, they will never truly understand the struggle but at least they are trying. 


If you would like to know more about pregnancy or how your husband can support you check out these posts:


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